Tuesday, October 22, 2013

jokes

Andrew Jackson: 'There is no pleasure in having nothing to do. The fun is having lots to do and not doing it'
Abraham Lincoln: 'If I were two faced – would I be wearing this one?'
'Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally'
James Garfield: 'Man cannot live by bread alone. He must have peanut butter'
William Taft: 'Politics make me sick'
Franklin Roosevelt: 'When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on'
Harry Truman: 'My choice in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth there’s hardly any difference'
'It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose your own'
'You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog'
John F. Kennedy: 'When we got into office the thing that surprised me the most was that things were as bad as we’d been saying they were'
'The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining'
Lyndon Johnson: 'Did you ever think that making a speech is a bit like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you but it never does to anyone else'
Richard Nixon: 'I'm glad I’m not Brezhnev; being the Russian leader in the Kremlin, you never know if someone’s tape recording what you are saying'
Jimmy Carter: 'I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming'
Ronald Regan: 'I have often wondered what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress'
Bill Clinton: 'Being President is like running a cemetery. You’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening'
George W. Bush: 'Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas we call "walking"'

Barack Obama: 'I'm so over-exposed I’m making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.

1 comment:

Sister--Three said...

I love the one Abe said...but they are all great. I read all of them.