You Might Be A Redneck
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF....
1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the
dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the
4. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired
5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms
6. Someone in your family once died right after saying:
"Hey, watch this...."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo.
9. Directions to your house include, "Turn off the
10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded, right off its wheels.
11. The market value of your car goes up and down,
depending on how much gas is in it.
12. You have to go outside to get something from the
13. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
14. You can't get married to your sweetheart because
there's a law against it.
15. You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is
16. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
17. Your front porch collapses and kills more than five