Born free... taxed to death.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Help wantedz: telepath. you know where to apply.
IRS... We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Where are we going? And why are we in this hand basket?
If you don't like the news, go out and make your own.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.